I love therapy. Therapy has been one of the most crucial aspects of my self-care practices and I have been lucky enough to have had a few great therapists that have helped me tremendously through many challenges in my life. I have also seen a few terrible therapists and a few mediocre ones so I know that not all therapy is good therapy. But I wish more than anything that I could have had a good therapist when I was going through my roughest times with acne because the acne struggle IS a mental health struggle. Sure, at its core acne is a physical condition but the physical symptoms of acne are not life threatening and we don’t technically need to treat it for the sake of our physical health: it is the internal emotional, psychological, social, and relational aspects of acne that make it such a torturous condition to live with. So if you are living with acne and looking for some relief or if you are just a human living on this earth and dealing with all the existential struggles that we humans have to deal with, here are some tips for finding a good therapist that I have learned through the years.

WHAT TYPE OF THERAPY IS BEST?

There are lots of different therapeutic modalities but the type of therapy that has been the most helpful for me and the one that I think is crucial if you are struggling with acne is somatic therapy. Somatic means relating to the body so somatic therapy is mind-body therapy and a somatically informed therapist has an integrative approach to healing that includes the body. Acne is obviously a mind-body issue but every “mental health” issue we deal with is actually a mind-body issue so finding a therapist who includes the body in their approach is essential regardless of what you are dealing with in my opinion. Somatic therapists are trained in modalities like Somatic Experiencing, Hakomi, Mindfulness, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy so look out for those words on their website. Internal Family Systems (aka IFS or parts work) has also been a life changing modality that has helped me tremendously so I highly recommend finding a somatic therapist with at least a knowledge of IFS or an IFS therapist who integrates somatic modalities.

HOW DO I KNOW MY THERAPIST IS GOOD?

Finding the right therapist should feel like finding "the one"! You should have no doubt that they are meant for you and you should look forward to and even excited to meet with them every week. If you are dreading seeing them or even just feeling “meh” and not looking forward to it, they are not the right therapist for you so keep looking. Finding a good therapist takes work and trial and error but if you put the time and effort into finding someone that feels right, it can pay off tremendously.

WHAT KIND OF THERAPIST SHOULD I SEE?

There are different kinds of therapists with different acronyms after their names. My favorite therapists have all been Marriage and Family Therapists (MFT or MFTi) and my least favorite ones have been Psychologists (Psy. D). In my experience, MFTs tend to be warmer & have a more human approach than Psychologists who have been trained in a more academic setting that focuses on clinical diagnoses and research. At the end of the day, you are looking for a person you feel connected to and it doesn’t matter what abbreviations they have after their name but the days when a therapist was just a cold person who would sit and listen to you are over! Nowadays, therapists can be warm, friendly, and human so make sure you choose someone who feels like they are on your side and more of a friend than a Doctor looking to diagnose and treat a patient.

HOW MUCH IS THERAPY?

The current average fee for therapy in the SF Bay Area is between about $200 a session but do not be deterred by the fee listed on a therapists website. Most reserve some sliding scale spots so if you feel called to someone and their full fee is outside of your budget, don’t hesitate to ask if they have any sliding scale spots available. If you need a fee that is even lower, there are lots of sliding scale clinics in the Bay Area that I list in my post A list of some great Bay Area Therapists and clinics.

HOW OFTEN AND HOW LONG SHOULD I GO TO THERAPY?

Therapy sessions are typically once a week and most therapists will require weekly sessions so that you are going often enough (just like working out requires a certain level of consistency and frequency). If you can’t go once a week, there are some therapists who are flexible and might be willing to do sessions every other week but I would recommend sessions at least every other week at a minimum. Regarding how long you should go to therapy for, I think that is the same as asking how long you should exercise for. Therapy is for my mental wellness what exercise is for my physical wellness. Both should be done regularly and they should be done not just when things are bad but when things are good as well. Exercise should be done even when your body is in shape to maintain optimal wellness and therapy is no different so if you are lucky enough to have access to therapy, you should go!

WHAT IS THE PROCESS FOR FINDING A THERAPIST?

Finding a therapist is like dating: finding the one is based on a combination of intuition, qualifications, and chemistry. You might see someone whose qualifications you like but when you talk to them, there is no chemistry. Or you might find someone who doesn’t have the qualifications you are looking for but that you might be intuitively drawn to. I have broken down the process I use into a few steps:

First, browse therapist profiles and see you are intuitively drawn to. I list a few of my favorite therapists in my post A List Of Great Bay Area Therapists And Clinics If You Struggle With Acne but if none of them call to you, Psychology Today has a great therapist finder where you can filter by location and modality so you can select Internal Family Systems, Somatic, and/or whatever else you are drawn to under the “types of therapy” filter. For me, I often get a gut feeling based on their picture so if I see someone’s picture and I just don’t like them, I don’t bother reaching out. Notice who you feel drawn to, read their websites, and collect as many names as possible to reach out to so you can compare and contrast.
Once you’ve collected names, start by emailing them logistical questions like, “Are you accepting new clients?”, “What days/time slots do you have available,” and “What is your fee,” so you don’t waste your time if those things aren’t a fit. Then ask them to set up a phone call because most of them offer a free 15-20 minute phone consultation.
During the phone consultation, feel into how comfortable you feel with them on the phone but also have a few questions ready. Some of the questions I ask are: “What does a session usually look like with you?” and “How engaged are you during sessions?”. You can also ask how they work with the particular issues you are wanting help with.
I always commit to meeting with at least two or three therapists even if the first one feels like a good fit just so I can really compare who I feel the most connected to. Again, when you find the right therapist it should feel like finding “the one”. You should feel connected to them, comfortable with them, and look forward to seeing them every week. If you begin therapy with someone who feels right at first but they start feeling less than helpful down the line, I encourage you to bring it up to them. If the issue doesn’t get resolved or if you ever stop look forward to seeing your therapist, I also encourage you to trust your gut and find someone else.